9 Weeks

I'm a little behind on updating this. I got to see our baby and hear his/her heartbeat about a week and a half ago. Hearing the heartbeat never gets old! It was a huge relief to see that baby is growing right on track and had a heartbeat of 140. I was really nervous before my appointment, but left with a huge smile on my face. My doctor is really supportive and I couldn't be luckier to have her as my primary doctor, Landen's doctor, and my OB. She didn't waste a second and did my ultrasound right away. She gave me a big hug when we saw that everything was okay. It was a great day!

I told my parents the news after my ultrasound. It felt great to finally be able to talk about it! As always, they were excited to be grandparents again. :) My mom showed Landen the ultrasound pictures (he hadn't seen them yet) and asked him what the picture was...Landen pointed to it and said "BABY!" It was pretty cute. I'm so excited for him to be a big brother.

That weekend, my sisters and I and some friends went on a girls scrapbooking weekend. I made sure to tell my sisters right away, so they wouldn't find out on their own. We generally stay up late and have drinks, so it would be pretty obvious that something was up! ;) Pregnancy and baby talk seemed to be the theme of the weekend! I didn't feel well towards the end, but it was a great weekend! I don't get to spend a lot of quality time with my sisters, so it was much needed.

I'm 9 weeks now and feeling pretty crummy, but I'll take it! As my doctor always says, it means that baby is doing well. I prefer being sick 24/7 than to have no symptoms at all and constantly wonder if everything is okay. Last week was probably the worst week I've had so far, so it was nice to get a bit of a break the last couple of days. My next appointment is in two weeks on May 16th, our anniversary! I will be able to relax a bit once and I see that everything is okay on two consecutive ultrasounds. I'm ready to enjoy this pregnancy and not worry about every little thing!

Mix of Emotions

March 20th, 2013 -- The first day of Spring.
It's also the day I found out that I'm pregnant again!

It's been 3 1/2 weeks since that day, and I'm still a mix of emotions.  I'm happy because I've been wanting another baby for a long time now, excited because I can't wait for Landen to be a big brother, nervous because I haven't had an ultrasound to confirm anything yet, and scared because my last pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.  Derek seems very relaxed so far.

Losing our baby in November was devastating to say the least.  Once I make it past the first trimester I think I'll be feeling better about everything, but until then, I have a feeling I'll be questioning every little twinge and symptom that I feel.  I never even thought of the possibility of miscarriage before, and now I can't stop thinking about it. 

From the day I took the first pregnancy test I have felt "off."  For the last couple of weeks I have been nauseated 24/7 and am completely exhausted.  Some days I can barely get off the couch.  With my last pregnancy, I only had morning sickness at night and felt pretty good during the day.  I never thought I'd be so happy to be sick.  I'm hoping the "all day sickness" is a good sign.  It's a lot different this time since I have a toddler and can't sleep whenever I want!

I go in for my first ultrasound/OB visit on Thursday.  I have a good feeling about this pregnancy, so I am anxious to get the reassurance that baby is doing well, and hopefully hear a heartbeat.  Ultrasounds used to be super exciting for me, but my last experience was not a positive one, so I'm hoping that changes this time. 

We are waiting to tell people until we are given the reassurance that everything is fine.  It was very hard having to explain the miscarriage to everyone, and I do not want to go through that again.  It will be nice when I don't have to keep a secret anymore!

Thursday can't come soon enough!